Our 7 week parenting class just finished this last Tuesday and I have to say I was SO impressed with this group of parents! I learned so much while facilitating through their insightful questions and subsequent dialogue. They were enthusiastic participants and were so open to change--what great role models! I always have new take-aways each time I re-read the Positive Discipline and teach the full 7 week class. Now that my daughter is almost 2 and a half, we are jumping feet first into the "power struggles"-- she has to do everything herself, her way, especially when we are pressed for time. I try to take a deep breath and imagine she is wearing the sign "Let Me Help-Give Me Choices." Try it next time you feeling challenged by your (any age) child. If you usually tend to react with fighting, giving in, or thinking "you can't get away with it," imagine that sign. You can redirect to positive power by asking for help, offering limited choices, withdrawing from conflict, bring firm and kind, or, the one tool I am practicing this week:
Act Without Words.
At times the most effective thing to do is keep your mouth shut and act.
1) Let your kids know in advance what you are going to do.
2) Check that they understand by asking "What is your understanding of what I am going to do?"
3) Follow through by acting kindly and firmly wtihout saying a word.
For example, pull over if kids fight while you are driving. Read a book until they let you know they are ready.
Until the next tool.... and happy almost Summer!
PS-- if you have missed any of my earlier blogs you can read them here: juliettaskoog.com