Julietta Skoog - Positive Discipline Parent Educator
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Positive Time Out

3/1/2012

 
Our staff concluded its Positive Discipline training last month. It was a fantastic experience and we have been so eager to implement the tools classroom wide; it gave us common language and a shared platform for how to continue to encourage our students and create a classroom of problem solvers who feel a sense of belonging and significance. During the training we were nourished by The Sanderson and Gallagher families who brought us dinners to these long after school extra hours that we put in-- thank you again!!!

One tool the training reminded me of was the use of Positive Time Out. This is a sacred and special place that our students can choose to go to when they are starting to "flip the lid" or become so emotionally unregulated, angry or sad that they are unable to access their executive functioning skills needed for learning. Once they are calmed down they can rejoin the group. This place is not a punishment, but rather a place to feel better. As we know, kids (and adults too!) DO BETTER WHEN THEY FEEL BETTER. Some classrooms have called this place "Hawaii" or "Space" to really embrace the idea that it is a good place to go!

I have always thought of this tool as being most effective when the students can help create it for themselves. This can be so powerful at home too! It did not think I would be able to use it until around the age of 4, but this past weekend I mentioned it in passing to my 3 year old. She was "having her feelings" (aka tantrum) and I said that maybe sometime we could make a special place in her room where she could go to feel better all by herself. I could not believe it when, two days later, Josephine was having a rough morning (the details are hazy but has something to do with her asking for a "slow morning" and me being late for work and 40 weeks pregnant and exhausted and snappy and she wanting to wear her Husky cheerleading outfit without tights and no pants or coat etc etc etc.)  Through her tears, Josephine said "I want to go to my sad place!!!" "What??"  I had no idea what she was talking about. She said "my chair! (her little reading chair in her room) where I can feel better!" I could not believe she had remembered my brief comment! "What a great idea!" I responded. "Do you want your buddy and blanket and favorite book too? And should we call it a feel better place? ("sad place" felt so, well, sad!)" She immediately brightened up, and we gathered her cozy lovies, favorite book of nursery rhymes, and she settled into her chair. "Let me know when you feel better" I said, thinking now I am REALLY going to be late but I have to see if this works!  Sure enough, two minutes later she comes out with a big smile and ready to cooperate. We both felt better.  Try it for yourself!!!!

POSITIVE TIME OUT
"People do better when they feel better. Positive time-out helps us cool off and feel better."

1) Create a time-out space with your chidlren. Let them decide what it would look like and what is in it.
2) Let them give it a special name.
3) When they are upset ask, "Would it help to go to your_______ place?"
4) Model using positive time-out by going to your own special place when you are upset.

*I am offically on maternity leave starting March 2nd, but look forward to returning to Queen Anne in September and continuing parent education classes through the summer!

All the best,
Julietta Skoog
School Psychologist
www.juliettaskoog.com
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11/22/2012 04:23:36 pm

A quality post that really focuses on positive time out with the children's..this will definitively bridges the gap between the children and the parents and also builds up a strong relationship..

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8/8/2013 08:56:35 pm

You writing is always fabulous.One tool the training reminded me of was the use of Positive Time Out. This is a sacred and special place that our students can choose to go to when they are starting to "flip the lid"


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    I am Julietta Skoog, the school psychologist for Queen Anne Elementary and  preschool assessment team for Seattle Public Schools. See my bio for more exciting details of my life. Did I mention I am a gemini?

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