I was just reminded of this article from the NY Times last summer about "Raising Successful Children." In the Monday night parenting class I teach here at QAE, we were talking about Carol Dweck's research and its implications in regard to encouragement vs. praise. I have been making a conscious effort with my own daughters and the students I work with to make a subtle shift in encouraging language. "You worked hard" "You did it by yourself" and "Wow, you were focused" as opposed to "Good girl" "I like it" and "You are so smart." Check out the full article from the NY Times here. My favorite part is: "A loving parent is warm, willing to set limits and unwilling to breach a child's psychological boundaries by invoking shame or guilt." This shame piece comes from our own parenting fears and can be so intense. My good friend Casey just wrote this beautiful blog about shame here. She reminds us to practice- practice gratitude, centering, and forgiveness. Fortunately, as parents, we get the opportunity to practice every day!
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